First, There Was Sir Mixalot . . . Then Latin Got Hold of ‘im!

[Note: The following is an linguistic examination of a modern musical aspect of human culture. It is not meant for pious meditation. Heck, it may well offend.]

First, you may want to refresh your memory on the lyrics for “Baby Got Back”. (This is a family-friendly blog–most of the time–so I won’t copy the lyrics here.)

Now, we begin with the first half of the song, helpfully translated into Latin (with back-translation in interlinear English) by quislibet:

De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Mixaloti equitis

(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)

amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
en! quam exstant! nonne piget te earum?
(Lo! How they stand forth! Do they not disgust you?)
ecce mulier Aethiops!
(Behold the black woman!)
Continue reading “First, There Was Sir Mixalot . . . Then Latin Got Hold of ‘im!”

Latin Is NOT a Dead Language

Occidentalis travels to Rome (i.e., the Vatican) and grabs some recent Latin terms for everyday things:

Blue jeans–bracae linteae caeruleae [blue linen pants]
Cigarette–fistula nicotiana [little nicotine tube]
Computer–instrumentum computatorium [computing instrument]
Cowboy–armentarius [armed one]
Deodorant–foetoris delumentum [stink eliminator]
Hot pants–brevissimae bracae femineae [very short women’s pants]
Jazz–iazensis musica [Jazz music]
Jeep–autocinetum locis iniquis aptum [automobile suitable for dangerous places]
Mini skirt–tunicula minima [very small tunic]
Motel–deversorium autocineticum [automobile inn]
Rodeo–spectaculum equestre [equestrian spectacle]
Shampoo–capitilavium [head washing substance]
Thermos–lagoena calefactoria [warming flask]
Vodka–valida potio Slavica [very strong Slavic drink]

The Fatherhood Chronicles LV

Daddy’s Heart Gets Broken

So, today, I’m doing all the things I’ve done on pretty much every other weekday morning. I kiss Anna good-bye and affirm my love. I ask Sofie for a good-bye kiss, which she gives. We go to the icon corner, I grab the blessing cross and I bless her with it. She kisses it and continues playing. I don my jacket and grab my gear. As I head out the door, I say to Sofie, “Good-bye, Sweetie! I’ll see you when I get home.” Normally, at this point, Sofie waves to me and says, “Bye.”

Today, her face screwed up into a grimace, her bottom lip pushed forward, and she began to cry.

I assured her I would be back soon. She cried all the more. Momma gathered her up in her arms, and I waved good-bye one more time.

This morning is cloudy and grey. And so am I.