And That’s That

As anticipated, the leave of absence was only a long shot to cover the last two academic years (not including the present), with the expectation that I would achieve reinstatement by this spring (i.e., January).  That last is not going to happen.  So the first becomes a moot point.

Fifty-one hours of PhD studies, on the verge of proposing a dissertation project.  And it’s gone.

Clearly I wasn’t ready to call it quits last week.  I’m no more ready today.  But there it is, whether I like it or not.

I don’t know what it means to think of myself as an ex-academic.  I’ve carried my dissertation topic for three years, including my directed readings.  I don’t know what it is to not have that in my consciousness.

5 thoughts on “And That’s That

  1. It is only intellectual comfort in the present, but we only see the providence of God in the rear view mirror. We make decisions that are inexorably played out to their logical conclusions, often in spite of our last minute grasp at the straws and we wonder why a certain grace was not granted, a certain door slammed in our face (when in fact we closed it…),
    and can a future without the conclusion of our past can possibly hold any meaning or purpose. It comes down to the bottom line of our vocation: to become the image of Christ. We have a limited understandings of who we are and what we think our tools are to accomplish that goal. Sometimes our “self image” has to be shattered to find our true image in an entirely other arena of struggle where we must rely on God an not our self percieved strengths and talents. May God bless your struggle.

  2. I am a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology who is doing the Ph.D. in a non-residential program. One option you may eventually wish to pursue is to complete the dissertation and get the Ph.D. at another university. Ph.D. studies at most universities in the UK and most of the British Commonwealth (Canada is an exception) are “dissertation only” with no classroom component at all It is not uncommon for American students to live and work in the US while doing a Ph.D. at a British university. The University of Wales at Lampeter has a renowned philosophy department in which students need not be in residence to complete the Ph.D. See and also They have a M.Th in Orthodox studies that can be done non-residentially as well. However, based on the tone of your post, it would seem that the wisdom which come from time and reflection would be a priority for you.

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